Love can hurt
by LordStarscream22
Summary: This is a little One-Shot about Starscreams Feelings for Arcee TFP One Shot It is written from Starscreams perspective


**Love can hurt… **

**-A StarXCee Fanfic – **

It has been a while now, since i rescued Arcee from Airachnid. I just wanted to return the favor that she has spared my life a few months ago, when we were fighting against each other.

I thought it would be a simple, little rescue mission for me, nothing special. But now I know that it wasn't "nothing special" to me. On the contrary…

A sigh came out from my mouth as I remember back the last events that happened in my live. I had lost my T-Cog, thanks to MECH. Oh I would love to get my claws on this little fleshling Silas! He will pay for all the things, he has done to me!

My thoughts going further and I clenched my fists, as I remember the day, when i met Airachnid in the forest. I just wanted to build an alliance with her and what was she doing? She send that damn Insecticon out to kill me!

I wrapped my arms around my legs and hide my face in my knees. It hurt me to remember all the things, that happened to me in the past. First Megatron, who loved to torture me every day. Than Knockout who loved to tease me. Oh, how I hated this! This Decepticon seems to haven't had any respect for me! Than I left the Decepticons and I was on my own. First it was a good feeling for me to be alone. No one who tortured you when you failed him, no one who loved to tease you and no one who loved to demote and abandoned you!

But after some time I started to feel so lonely. I couldn't go back to the Autobots and ask for their help. Not after what I have done to Arcee…

I clenched my fists even more, but I ignored the pain that went through my body when I did that. It wasn't right to attack the femme, I know it now. But when I was attacking her, I was just the stupid Decepticon I wanted to be. It wasn't me. I won't hurt a Femme…but I have done it. And I feel sorry for her…

I looked up and again a sigh came out from my mouth. Why should i feel sorry for an Autobot? No! She wasn't just an Autobot. She was more…

I don't know what happened on the day, when i rescued her from Airachnid. It felt good to shot at this damn spider! Sadly i missed her with my missiles but i will get her for sure in the future, i swear it by the Allspark! I will get my revenge on her!

But there is one question i need an answer for. Why i haven't killed Arcee when i had the chance fort hat?

First i thought it was just to get even with her, but there is more, i know it. I have seen something in her optics. I have no idea what it was, but it was beautiful and i couldn't hurt her anymore. It isn't in my nature to hurt a femme after all. I am not like Megatron and i never wanted to be like him!

My Body started to tremble on my next thoughts. Arcee started to trust me, when we were alone in that canyon. But than i inadvertently told her, that i killed her Partner Cliffjumper. Oh i was so stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid!

I should shut my mouth or i should just to be careful in what i am saying! But it was too late and i told her. I was so afraid when i saw the angry spark in her optics and all i wanted in that moment was to fly away from her. But i couldn't and i lead her straight into a trap of mine. I had hurt her badly on her side and it was hard for her to fight me after i opened my cuffs. I was enjoying our little fight at this moment and i felt so bad right know when i remembered all that things…

Why am i so stupid?! My Spark hurt at this memories and it is such a bad feeling. My hand pressed against my chest, right over my spark, and i closed my optics. A single tear ran down my cheeck, but i tried to ignore it. The Pain in my chest got even worse and i had no idea, what it was. I closed my optics tightly and whimpered when i saw Arcees face in front of me and she gave me the same warm smile like she did in the canyon, when she and i talked about Airachnid.

I felt even worse and i pressed my hands against my head. More tears started to ran down my cheecks and this time i couldn't ignore them anymore. The Pain in my chest was just too much for me to endure now, i couldn't stand it anymore. What was that? What caused me that much pain and what caused me, Starscream, former Second In Command of the Decepticons and Air Commander oft he Energon Seekers, to cry like a little Sparkling?

I didn't know it. All i knew at this moment was, that i was alone. No one was there who could comfort me. But maybe it was better to be alone in such a situation like this. It was embarrassing for me. I just wanted to sink into a hole and never come back. For Primus sake! I was a Decepticon and not a Sparkling anymore! Okay, I wasn't a Decepticon anymore. I was an outsider, a murderer…

No one could ever loved an murderer like myself…wait, what? Love?

I was shaking my head and opened my optics and looked up at the sky. Why i was thinking about love now? That made no sense! Or…made it sense?

I was thinking very much about Arcee at the moment and every time I remembered all the mean things I have done to her, my spark was hurting even more. It felt like my spark was going to explode inside my chest. "Primus, please! Make it stop!" I cried and I buried my face into my hands. It couldn't be! It couldn't be love! She hates me, she was hating me before I killed Cliffjumper and she will always hate me!

But I don't hate her anymore…no! I have never hate her! I closed my optics and there was her face again and she was smiling again…for me. She was smiling for me. And the Pain inside my chest was there again. The pain was so strong, that I cried out loudly and I cling at my chest desperately, but the pain didn't stopped…

And than it hit me! I started to understand why my spark hurt so much everytime i thought about Arcee. I was fighting against it. I was fighting against my feelings. My feelings for her, an Autobot…

A little smile appeared on my face and i looked up at the sky again. The tears in my optics stopped and the pain inside my chest stopped as well. I closed my optics and saw her again, right in front of me. „Arcee…" i whispered to myself and wrapped my arms again around my legs. „Why must it hurt, Arcee…" i whispered again and the smile on my face grow wider. „Why must love hurt so much…"

I chuckled after my words and i layed myself down on the ground and kept my optics closed. It took me not too long to fall into stasis and i was dreaming about her. I was dreaming about a wonderfull future,with no war and only me and her…but deep inside me i knew that this would just be a dream.

She would never love me…

But I would never give up the hope…

I love her and I was not ashamed of it. Why should i? I was a Mech and she was a beautiful Femme. It doesn't matter, that she was an Autobot and I am a former Decepticon!

Love will always find a way and I hope, that my love for her will find a way as well.

For now, I will have my dreams about a wonderful world with only me and her and maybe one day, this dream will come true…

And I will never be alone anymore…


End file.
